The Screecher Teacher by Zoe Johnston
Junior Short Story Entry
“James Sullivan!” Miss Weed's whiny voice cut through the air like a knife, reaching the ears of a boy in the third row. The boy, James Sullivan, or Jamie to his friends, looked up from the book he was devouring with great interest. Fixing Jamie with a glare that the members of 7W had long since christened 'The Glare', Miss Weed stalked between the rows of desks and plucked the book from Jamie's hands. “You can have this back at the end of the day. You know the rule, no reading in class, just as well as I do, James,” she told him icily. Jamie stared at her in surprise, then his face changed to a scowl. He loathed Miss Weed's boring lessons, and was an avid reader.
No one liked Miss Weed, and most of her class had already reflected on how much her name suited her. She was tall and thin, with a sour expression, which made her ugly, like a weed. She was also disliked and unwanted like a weed, and in consequence, her nickname was The Weed.
After school, Jamie reluctantly went to Miss Weed to collect his book. “Every time I catch you reading in my classes, I'll keep the book for a day extra,” she informed in her screechy, whiny voice. Jamie turned away, and pulled an awful face, which made his best friend, Natalie, who was standing just outside the door, give an audible giggle. Miss Weed chose to ignore this, and Jamie and Natalie walked off.
“The Weed is so annoying!” Jamie exclaimed in a loud voice as they walked off, his loud tones floating back and reaching the ears of Miss Weed. Her fists clenched, and she vowed to teach them a lesson they wouldn't forget in a hurry.
While Miss Weed was thinking this unpleasant thought, the two friends were heading to their favourite place, where they could get some peace and quiet: the library. Natalie enjoyed reading books, but she much preferred to play around on the computers, so she went over to the computers, and Jamie went to browse at one of the bookshelves.
His eyes wandered around, until they rested on a brown leather-bound book with no title. He pulled it out. On the cover, in gold curly letters, were the words, THE SCREECHER TEACHER. This title exactly described his teacher, so he opened it gingerly. On the first yellowing page, the title was written again, followed by the words, 'How to deal with your Screeching Teacher.' This roused his curiosity to the fullest pitch, so he took it over to Natalie, and showed his find to her.
Together, they read the second page. It said
No one liked Miss Weed, and most of her class had already reflected on how much her name suited her. She was tall and thin, with a sour expression, which made her ugly, like a weed. She was also disliked and unwanted like a weed, and in consequence, her nickname was The Weed.
After school, Jamie reluctantly went to Miss Weed to collect his book. “Every time I catch you reading in my classes, I'll keep the book for a day extra,” she informed in her screechy, whiny voice. Jamie turned away, and pulled an awful face, which made his best friend, Natalie, who was standing just outside the door, give an audible giggle. Miss Weed chose to ignore this, and Jamie and Natalie walked off.
“The Weed is so annoying!” Jamie exclaimed in a loud voice as they walked off, his loud tones floating back and reaching the ears of Miss Weed. Her fists clenched, and she vowed to teach them a lesson they wouldn't forget in a hurry.
While Miss Weed was thinking this unpleasant thought, the two friends were heading to their favourite place, where they could get some peace and quiet: the library. Natalie enjoyed reading books, but she much preferred to play around on the computers, so she went over to the computers, and Jamie went to browse at one of the bookshelves.
His eyes wandered around, until they rested on a brown leather-bound book with no title. He pulled it out. On the cover, in gold curly letters, were the words, THE SCREECHER TEACHER. This title exactly described his teacher, so he opened it gingerly. On the first yellowing page, the title was written again, followed by the words, 'How to deal with your Screeching Teacher.' This roused his curiosity to the fullest pitch, so he took it over to Natalie, and showed his find to her.
Together, they read the second page. It said
1. HOW TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER LOSE THEIR VOICE
Put a cough drop into a glass of coffee. When it has dissolved completely, stir it anti-clockwise 5 times, as this will make it have the opposite effect. The mixture should now have become clear. Pour it into your teacher's glass of water, and stir it anti-clockwise 5 times again. It will make their throat sore, and then they will lose their voice.
Wears off in 2 ½ hours.
Put a cough drop into a glass of coffee. When it has dissolved completely, stir it anti-clockwise 5 times, as this will make it have the opposite effect. The mixture should now have become clear. Pour it into your teacher's glass of water, and stir it anti-clockwise 5 times again. It will make their throat sore, and then they will lose their voice.
Wears off in 2 ½ hours.
Jamie and Natalie looked at each other. “I wonder whether it works,” Natalie said thoughtfully. Jamie grinned at her, a mischievous look in his eye. “There's only one way to find out.”
The next day, Jamie came to school with a special flask in his bag. He had left the book in the safety of his home, for their plans would end in disaster if Miss Weed found it. It seemed to Jamie and Natalie that Morning Tea would never come. When the bell rang, the kids all hurried out to the playground, and Miss Weed, looking relieved, headed off in the direction of the staffroom.
Natalie carefully poured the contents of the flask, which was, as the book said, clear as water, into the glass Miss Weed drank out of constantly. With a triumphant grin at Jamie, she put the flask away, and they headed off in the direction of the playground, a look of smug satisfaction on their faces.
It wasn't until halfway through maths that Miss Weed decided she needed a drink. Jamie and Natalie watched with bated breath as she put the glass to her lips. She was about to drink it, when there came a tentative knock at the door. Natalie and Jamie's faces showed their disappointment as she stopped before she had taken a sip, to help one of the kids from Grade 2, who wanted to borrow something.
Miss Weed, having sorted everything out, went back to her desk, and took a big swig of the drink, much to the pair's relief. Miss Weed had a funny look on her face, and gave a little cough. She picked up her maths books, and attempted to continue the lesson. The pair could barely contain their laughter, as their teacher tried to say something, but all that came out was some rasping noises, and then nothing. Miss Weed tried again, but fared no better.
In the end, she gave up, and wrote down on the board what she wanted them to do. Jamie gave Nat a high five under the desk, and whispered to her that after school, they would consult the book on what to do next.
When the day was over, they settled themselves on Jamie's bed, and looked at the next page. It said:
The next day, Jamie came to school with a special flask in his bag. He had left the book in the safety of his home, for their plans would end in disaster if Miss Weed found it. It seemed to Jamie and Natalie that Morning Tea would never come. When the bell rang, the kids all hurried out to the playground, and Miss Weed, looking relieved, headed off in the direction of the staffroom.
Natalie carefully poured the contents of the flask, which was, as the book said, clear as water, into the glass Miss Weed drank out of constantly. With a triumphant grin at Jamie, she put the flask away, and they headed off in the direction of the playground, a look of smug satisfaction on their faces.
It wasn't until halfway through maths that Miss Weed decided she needed a drink. Jamie and Natalie watched with bated breath as she put the glass to her lips. She was about to drink it, when there came a tentative knock at the door. Natalie and Jamie's faces showed their disappointment as she stopped before she had taken a sip, to help one of the kids from Grade 2, who wanted to borrow something.
Miss Weed, having sorted everything out, went back to her desk, and took a big swig of the drink, much to the pair's relief. Miss Weed had a funny look on her face, and gave a little cough. She picked up her maths books, and attempted to continue the lesson. The pair could barely contain their laughter, as their teacher tried to say something, but all that came out was some rasping noises, and then nothing. Miss Weed tried again, but fared no better.
In the end, she gave up, and wrote down on the board what she wanted them to do. Jamie gave Nat a high five under the desk, and whispered to her that after school, they would consult the book on what to do next.
When the day was over, they settled themselves on Jamie's bed, and looked at the next page. It said:
2. HOW TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER'S HAIR STAND ON END (LITERALLY)
Get a bottle of hair gel, and stir it anti-clockwise until it is like liquid. Put some of the liquid into a dropper, and put a few drops into your teacher's hair. It will frizz and go everywhere. Wears off in about 2 ½ hours.
Get a bottle of hair gel, and stir it anti-clockwise until it is like liquid. Put some of the liquid into a dropper, and put a few drops into your teacher's hair. It will frizz and go everywhere. Wears off in about 2 ½ hours.
“What do you think?” asked Jamie.
“With Miss Weed's disgustingly limp hair, it'll probably be an improvement,” Natalie replied with a gurgle that set the pair laughing till they ached. Once they had recovered, they stole into Jamie's mum's room, and took her bottle of hair gel. They carried out the book's instructions, and put it in Jamie's bag for the next day.
The next day, Natalie cleverly knocked all the books off her desk while Miss Weed was walking past, and Miss Weed bent down to help pick them up. Jamie sat next to Natalie, and quickly put a few drops of their concoction into their teacher's hair. Miss Weed stood up, and the class looked at her in silent laughter as her hair turned into a big frizz, all over her head.
No one could hold it any longer, and the whole class burst out laughing. “What? What is it?” Miss Weed demanded in a shrill voice. She pulled a little mirror out of her purse, and uttered a shriek. She tried to tame her unruly hair, but she could do nothing. Nat and Jamie gave each other high fives again, but decided that they would leave Miss Weed alone for a day or two.
Though everyone had forgotten, parent/teacher interviews were to be held the next night. Miss Weed's hair was back to normal again, but she was still hugely embarrassed whenever she thought about it. Jamie moped about his house, not looking forward to his mum returning, who would be full of annoyance about what Miss Weed had told her. He felt even worse when he saw two ladies coming up the stairs when his mum returned home. With a gasp of horror, he realized that it was Miss Weed coming up the stairs.
He fled to his room, praying that he wouldn't have to come out and say hello. His heart sank to his shoes when he heard his mother call out, “Jamie! Can you please come here?” Reluctantly, he trailed out of his room and into the living room. “Hello, James,” Miss Weed said with a pleasant smile, but Jamie made no reply. He just stared at her, unable to speak. “Jamie,” his mother said, “Miss Weed is my old friend from High School.” Jamie shifted his gaze to his mother, his mouth round with disbelief. He felt as if he was going to faint.
He turned around. “Sorry, I've got to go. I've got some things I need to do,” he mumbled.
“James! Don't be so impolite! Come and sit down, and show some hospitality!” his mother scolded him. He sat down with an awful look on his face. The other two began to have a big catch up session, but Jamie just sat there in silence, unless he was dragged into the conversation.
Though he thought Miss Weed's lessons were boring, Miss Weed actually turned out to be a lot of fun. She was very knowledgeable, and had travelled a great deal, so entertained them both with fascinating stories. They then played a game of Mind trap, which she proved to be very good at. By the time, she said good bye, which was about 10:00, Jamie was as much involved in the conversation as the other two, and was beginning to like his teacher more and more.
The next day, Natalie asked him before school if they were going to read the next page in the book. Jamie shook his head, and Nat stared at him in surprise. “Why not?” she demanded. “It was such fun!” Jamie shook his head again, and explained everything to her. Nat looked doubtful, but she always supported Jamie in everything.
So Jamie took the book back to the library, where it wasn't read again, until the next year, when Miss Weed taught another unfortunate class, and it was rediscovered.
“With Miss Weed's disgustingly limp hair, it'll probably be an improvement,” Natalie replied with a gurgle that set the pair laughing till they ached. Once they had recovered, they stole into Jamie's mum's room, and took her bottle of hair gel. They carried out the book's instructions, and put it in Jamie's bag for the next day.
The next day, Natalie cleverly knocked all the books off her desk while Miss Weed was walking past, and Miss Weed bent down to help pick them up. Jamie sat next to Natalie, and quickly put a few drops of their concoction into their teacher's hair. Miss Weed stood up, and the class looked at her in silent laughter as her hair turned into a big frizz, all over her head.
No one could hold it any longer, and the whole class burst out laughing. “What? What is it?” Miss Weed demanded in a shrill voice. She pulled a little mirror out of her purse, and uttered a shriek. She tried to tame her unruly hair, but she could do nothing. Nat and Jamie gave each other high fives again, but decided that they would leave Miss Weed alone for a day or two.
Though everyone had forgotten, parent/teacher interviews were to be held the next night. Miss Weed's hair was back to normal again, but she was still hugely embarrassed whenever she thought about it. Jamie moped about his house, not looking forward to his mum returning, who would be full of annoyance about what Miss Weed had told her. He felt even worse when he saw two ladies coming up the stairs when his mum returned home. With a gasp of horror, he realized that it was Miss Weed coming up the stairs.
He fled to his room, praying that he wouldn't have to come out and say hello. His heart sank to his shoes when he heard his mother call out, “Jamie! Can you please come here?” Reluctantly, he trailed out of his room and into the living room. “Hello, James,” Miss Weed said with a pleasant smile, but Jamie made no reply. He just stared at her, unable to speak. “Jamie,” his mother said, “Miss Weed is my old friend from High School.” Jamie shifted his gaze to his mother, his mouth round with disbelief. He felt as if he was going to faint.
He turned around. “Sorry, I've got to go. I've got some things I need to do,” he mumbled.
“James! Don't be so impolite! Come and sit down, and show some hospitality!” his mother scolded him. He sat down with an awful look on his face. The other two began to have a big catch up session, but Jamie just sat there in silence, unless he was dragged into the conversation.
Though he thought Miss Weed's lessons were boring, Miss Weed actually turned out to be a lot of fun. She was very knowledgeable, and had travelled a great deal, so entertained them both with fascinating stories. They then played a game of Mind trap, which she proved to be very good at. By the time, she said good bye, which was about 10:00, Jamie was as much involved in the conversation as the other two, and was beginning to like his teacher more and more.
The next day, Natalie asked him before school if they were going to read the next page in the book. Jamie shook his head, and Nat stared at him in surprise. “Why not?” she demanded. “It was such fun!” Jamie shook his head again, and explained everything to her. Nat looked doubtful, but she always supported Jamie in everything.
So Jamie took the book back to the library, where it wasn't read again, until the next year, when Miss Weed taught another unfortunate class, and it was rediscovered.
posted by Jess @ 12:04 PM
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